The Things That Dreams Are Made Of
by bookwormgirlLH
Summary: 'Post Better Than Life. Lister wonders what it means that while Rimmer fantasized a beautiful woman, he spent all his time with Cat.' My response to this prompt, which I found on lgbt fest. CL slash


It was fair to say that Dave Lister was confused. He couldn't sleep, and instead had opted to spend his night in the bar, staring into his pint.

It was because of what he'd been doing all day that Lister was in this state; they all had been playing Better Than Life. At least, until Rimmer's crazed mind ruined everything and they had to leave the game. Which was a shame, because, before the hologram destroyed everything, he'd actually had a lot of fun.

He remembered those few hours in the game well: how he and Cat swore at Rimmer before they rode off on that motorbike; their overly large meals in the restaurant; the hilarious game of golf where Cat clearly had never played before...

When he thought about it, it became obvious to Lister how he had spent almost all of his time with the Cat. Whilst Rimmer had been in a relationship with a woman, and even started a family, his mind had instead paired him up with the Cat.

It just didn't make sense - if the game was meant to give you whatever you wanted, then why on Earth didn't he get to have sex with Kristine Kochanski? She was the one person he wanted more than anyone else, so why hadn't he got Krissie? But he didn't even get any other women either - just the Cat.

Even Cat wasn't that involved with women, and it was obvious to anyone with half a brain that Cat's main desire was to have sex with an actual woman. He dismissed Marilyn Monroe on several occasions when she asked him to sleep with her, and, although he told Holly all about his mermaid girlfriend, Lister knew that Cat did nothing with her at all. It must just have been to show off to the computer.

It was later on, though, when Lister really got confused. It was just after they thought that they had escaped the game, only for the Outland Revenue debt collector to come out of his cupboard. Terrified, Lister jumped backwards, only to find Cat's arm around his shoulders, holding him close. In fact, Cat only let go when Rimmer got his hand smashed in a few moments later, and that was only so he could get a better view of the violence. When Rimmer's hand was well and truly mashed, the debt collector turned on Lister, leering at him, and, sure enough, Cat's arm was back around his shoulders, holding protectively onto him. They were still in that position when they finally got out of the game, although Cat quickly moved away, trying his hardest to look cool.

Draining his latest glass, Lister began to wonder why Cat had tried to protect him, and whether it had happened before. Of course, it hadn't, but Lister remembered being touched a lot of times: an arm around his shoulders, being leaned against, a soft hand brushing across his skin, not to mention the infamous 'dog attack', when Cat jumped on him and pinned him to the drive room floor.

Maybe...maybe the reason they spent so much time together wasn't his fantasy, but the Cat's. Maybe Cat wanted to send time with him, and that subconscious thought manifested itself in the game. But why would the Cat want to spend so much time with the human? Unless...

No, Lister thought, that couldn't be it. How could the Cat, a man so obsessed with the opposite sex, ever be attracted to him of all people? But, although he didn't understand why, or how, Lister realised that it made sense - if Cat was gay, he might be trying to act 'normal' by chasing after women, attracted to them or not.

Curious, Lister struggled to his feet and headed across the ship to where they kept the dream recorder. When he arrived, Lister was pleased to find that Cat was nowhere to be seen, and Rimmer was fast asleep. Sitting down at the desk, Lister switched the machine on and clicked onto Cat's file. It was password protected, but, knowing Cat, it wouldn't be too hard to break. Sure enough, the password was 'FISH'. Lister clicked 'enter' and found himself in a file that stored hundreds of dreams.

He quickly scrolled through them, and soon realised that Cat had been lying whenever he mentioned his dreams; there were no fantasies about him doing sexual things with several, or even just one, woman at once. In fact, he had no sexy dreams about women at all.

Flicking further into the dreams, Lister came across what appeared to be a music video that featured the Cat, Rimmer and, to his horror, himself. Dressed in identical outfits, Cat sang and danced with the other two as backing singers and dancers. From what he could hear, the song appeared to be about getting 'Tongue Tied' around someone you like. Lister had to wonder.

The next dream he saw, which, he realised was also the last dream the Cat had recorded, made Lister's jaw drop. As he watched, his eyes widened somewhat dramatically:

_Cat sat at the table in Lister and Rimmer's quarters, eating the crispies that the human had given him. Jumping down from the bed, Lister wandered over, and rested his hands on Cat's shoulders. Bending down, he whispered something into Cat's ear, and a grin spread across Cat's face._

Lister reminded the dream and this time managed to hear what the dream Lister had said: _"How're you doin', man?"_

_"Well," Cat replied. "I'm much happier now."_

_Rather roughly, Lister grabbed Cat by the jaw, turning his head towards him, and, slowly, moved in to kiss him._

_The kiss was slow and chaste, and Cat pulled away, looking embarrassed. But Lister kissed him again, this time much harder. Lister's tongue slipped between the Cat's lips and soon they were French kissing, as Lister wrapped one arm around the back of Cat's neck, pulling him closer._

_His mouth still attached to Cat's, Lister carefully began to unbutton Cat's shirt, and then his own, leaving them both topless. When Lister moved his hand and rested it on Cat's chest, the feline's breathing rapidly increased, and he moaned loudly as Lister tweaked one of his nipples. Panting, Cat watched as Lister's hands went to his belt buckle, but then moved away teasingly. Instead, Lister climbed onto Cat's lap, straddling him, and began to suck on his neck, giving the feline a love bite. As Cat threw his head back, moaning, Lister began to grind himself against the Cat, faster and faster until - _

The dream suddenly stopped, presumably when Cat woke up. Lister sighed, turning away from the screen. It was hard to believe that the Cat could have had such an erotic dream about him, but, even more strangely than that, why was he smegging aroused after watching that dream. It made things worse when Lister wondered what had happened to Cat during his sleep.

Standing up, Lister headed off into the bathroom to take a cold shower, knowing sleep was going to be even more impossible now than earlier. As he stood under the stream of freezing water, Lister began to wonder if he could ever really do what he did in the dream. Obviously, he and Cat were mates, and he could even picture himself snogging the feline, but he wasn't so sure about the sexual stuff. Maybe he was scared to go with a man.

But that wasn't true, either. Lister was in no way homophobic; if fact, he'd actually had a boyfriend before. They had never actually slept together, but they still did lots of things that made Lister shiver. Still confused about everything, Lister clamoured out of the shower, got changed and collapsed into bed, making sure to make enough noise to smeg off the hologram. Trying to do something repetitive and mundane, like count sheep, Lister finally managed to fall asleep...

"Hey, who's been looking at my dreams?"

Lister awoke to a frantic, irritated cry from the other side of the room.

Rimmer was first to speak. "What are you screeching about now, Cat? Some of us are trying to sleep."

Lister slowly rolled over and peered across the room at Cat, who looked embarrassed. He met the human's eyes, and Lister could tell straight away that Cat had realised who had hacked into his account on the dream recorder. He didn't even bother to reply. Instead, Lister clumsily got out of bed, walked across the room, grabbed Cat's arm and pulled him out into the corridor.

When they were a safe distance away from the sleeping quarters, Lister stopped and looked at the Cat.

"I saw the dream, man." was all he said.

Cat looked at his feet, pretending to inspect the shininess of his shoes. "Do you hate me now you've realised your friend has had those sorts of dreams about you?" Cat said it in one long rush, so fast that Lister struggled to hear him properly.

"Of course not, man. I mean, I was a bit shocked, but when I think about it, it all makes sense."

"How?" Cat looked up.

"Remember Better Than Life? How we spent all our time together? How you turned down sex with Marilyn Monroe?" Lister put his hand on Cat's shoulder. "No straight man would do that."

"Well," Cat chucked weakly. "That explains a lot, bud. It's just, when I was at Kitty School and the Priest taught me about family life, I only ever leaned about relationships between men and women. He never mentioned being gay. I just thought you were meant to like women, so, even though I didn't really, I acted like it to hope I'd start being normal. Of course, it hasn't worked, but I still do it, just to try and fit in."

Lister gave Cat's shoulder an encouraging squeeze. He knew that stuff like this wasn't easy to say, and respected Cat for being so brave.

"I don't mean to but in on such a meaningful discussion of sexual orientation, dudes," Said Holly, his head appearing on a monitor. "But I thought I could help Cat understand more easily." He was surprised when he other two didn't reply, and added, "Have you two heard of the Kinsey Scale?"

"Nope," Lister said, and Cat shook his head in response.

"Well, it's a scale of scale of sexuality invented by this bloke in the twentieth century called Alfred Kinsey. He ranked his scale from zero to six, and said that if you only liked the opposite sex, you were a zero, and if you only liked the same sex, you were a six. Depending on who you like, you can be any number on the scale. Nifty, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is, Hol, thanks," Lister said. He turned to the Cat. "I think I'm a two, man, what about you - and you, Holly?"

"Me?" Holly pulled an exaggeratedly confused facial expression. "I'm a computer, Dave. I don't think I have a number."

"Everyone has to have a number, Holly,"

"Oh, alright," Holly thought for a moment. "I think I'm a three, Dave." Holly couldn't help his face flushing red. "What about Cat, he hasn't said his yet?"

Looking oddly flustered, Cat whispered his number. "Six."

"You know," Holly said, not batting an eyelid at Cat's statement. "This is really interesting. I might go and ask Arnold. See you, dudes." Holly grinned and his face faded from the monitor.

Left alone with Cat, Lister turned to face him again. "Well, Mr Six-On-The-Kinsey-scale, I've got something for you."

Before Cat had a chance to reply, Lister cupped Cat's chin with his hand and gave him a soft kiss on the lips. Pulling away, Lister said, "I know how much you wanted that, man," Then he hurried off down the corridor, eager to find out what number Rimmer was, and leaving Cat stood there, carefully touching his lips and wondering what was going to happen now.


End file.
